The impact of our choices

I am looking back over a year of being a mom. It has not always been easy. There has been times when your endurance and patience were tested to its limits. Being a mom is all about not only giving, but also giving up. You are faced with challenges every day. It takes careful planning to keep the wheels of a household oily and running smoothly.


But the impact of becoming a mom reaches far beyond the hard work, the planning and the sacrifices. The decision to have a child was a carefully thought through and calculated decision. We chose to have him, not the other way around.

The decision was a single step, but that single choice have had impact in so many areas of our lives. The things we do today, the plans we make all would have been so different were Andreas not part of our lives.

I said to my husband the other day – I have not given any other human being so many hugs and kisses than this little boy and that in the span of only one year. Children have the miraculous ability to touch people’s lives through simple acts. They don’t have hidden agendas, they do not pretend. To them all people are equally important.

And that to me has been the main impact of our choice to have a little one, you have the privilege to become the recipient of all that little one has to give. I am relieved to say as the days go by it becomes gradually more than only dirty nappies and desperate cries. They give laughter, joy, their innocent honesty.



After a year of being a mother I am enriched. This little one has given us so much, so much more than we could have ever hoped for. He has learned me so much about myself, and the person I want to be for him. I won’t exchange the mommy title for anything in the world.

Herdekoreer

Hier oor Desember pak die lus mens mos gewoonlik beet om huis skoon te maak en kaste reg te pak. Dit is asof ons amper so die oujaar wil afskud en daarmee ‘n nuwe blaadjie wil omblaai.

So was dit weer hierdie jaar, maar die enigste verskil – dié jaar het my regpaklus die vorm van herdekorering aangeneem. Nee, eintlik was ek ietwat geforseer om die dekorasie en ornamentplasing in ons huis in heroorweging te bring, want ewe skielik is daar ‘n paar handjies en ogies wat enige plan beraam om uit te kom by dit wat enigsens breekbaar lyk. Glo my, ‘n baba stel glad nie belang in enige duur speeding nie, neewat die huis is veel interessanter as enige geluidmakende, tekstuurbelaaide, veelkleurige speeding wat jou ‘n arm en ‘n been gekos het. Die enigste opvoedkundige waarde van meeste van hierdie, is die les wat jy leer - dit is glad nie so interessant is as di t wat jy in jou laaikaste wegbêre nie.

Met hierdie stukkie kennis in die agtergrond kan die leser dus verstaan dat ek genoodsaak was om die huis, wat sommige sal noem, baba-vriendelik te maak. Ek noem dit die pad na moedergerustheid, want glo my daar is nie rus of vrede in die gemoed van ‘n moeder wat heeltyd agter ‘n kleinding moet aanhardloop wat nog een van haar ornamente se duursaamheid beproef nie.

My herdekorasie proses het dus een doel voor oë gehad – om alles wat kosbaar en breekbaar is ‘n veilige lengte van die grond af te kry.

Dit het herbeplanning gekos. Behalwe vir ‘n paar strooikussings a’la Mr. Price het ek eenvoudig net dit wat ons reeds besit het geherrangskik.

Die eindresultaat was verbasend. Behalwe dat dit my verseker ‘n paar maande se gemoedsrus gaan verskaf, lyk alles weer van vooraf nuut. Die leermatjie wat ek jare gelede in die Drakensberge gekoop het smelt saam met ‘n pottery bakkie met ‘n paisley patron – een van die eerste aandenkings wat ek in Johannesburg gekoop het. Ek het dit saamgegroepeer met my Carol Boyes vrugtebak, ‘n spesiale geskenk van Mario een verjaardag. My ouma se silwer kersblakers het ek uit die kas opgediep, hulle lyk nogal ewe mooi saam met die Carol Boyes. O, ja en om alles af te rond, ‘n paar reisboeke en die uurglas uit Umhlanga. Dit is asof alles vir mekaar bedoel was, soos stukkies in ‘n legkaart pas alles in mekaar. Elkeen van hierdie ornamente het ek op spesiale plekke en oomblikke in my lewe of gekoop of present gekry. Dit vorm deel van my herinneringswêreld. Op die oomblik toe ek elkeen van hierdie elemente in besit geneem het, het ek nooit gedink dat alles so bymekaar sou kon pas nie.

So is dit met die lewe ook. Daar is so baie dinge wat elke dag met ons gebeur. Soveel herinneringe wat ons in besit neem. Sommige herinneringe word kosbaar, ons stal dit uit in die skatkamers van ons gedagtes, maar so dikwels voel dit of alles onsamehangend is. Ons het maar net ‘n dowwe beeld van wie ons werklik is en waarheen ons oppad is.

Soms moet ons herdekorreer. Ons moet weer gaan stilstaan by die skatte wat ons deur die jare bymekaar gemaak het. God het ‘n plan met ons lewens. Niks gebeur verniet nie. Wanneer ons, ons lewens in Sy hande plaas kan ons verseker weet: Hy sal alles uiteindelik bymekaar laat pas. Selfs al lyk dit waarmee jy nou besig is verniet, of sinneloos kan ons weet, solank as wat ons binne God se wil vir ons lewens leef sal hy uiteindelik al die stukkies bymekaar sit. Hy is elke dag besig om ons lewens te herdekoreer.

Turning Point

Painting any picture is a process. It is almost as if one has to establish a relationship with the canvas and the picture evolving on it. As with any relationship, doing a painting implies that you will have to work through different stages.

In the beginning the relationship between you and this work of art is on the stiff and awkward side. You do not know each other very well yet. Initially, with each brush stroke, you might event feel that you are drifting further and further away from each other. During these first stages of my painting I usually feel alienated. It is as if I can just not get into it. During this time, as with any relationship, you think of quitting. Is it really worth, to invest your time and energy into something with which you cannot relate?

It is during these times that the guidance of my art teacher is invaluable. She has a fresh perspective and the changes she suggests, regardless of how small they are, steer me through the waters of desperation.

So you go on, still not very positive that the outcome will be worth looking at, but nevertheless.

And then, when you least expect it, there comes a point where the painting turns around. Suddenly, you and the picture find each other. There is a magical connection. I can never say when that exact point will be, but when I reach it, I am always thankful that I have persevered.

Standing at the beginning of a new year we are faced with new challenges, new tasks, new adventures, new hurdles… Somewhere within all of this, we have to find ourselves. We have to establish what the relationship between us and all of that which surrounds us will be. In the beginning we struggle. Most foreign challenges seem impossible to conquer. We just want to give up. It is during times like these where we need God, the teacher of life, to guide us. It just takes a prayer for Him to refresh our perspective and lead our hand to make the brush strokes which will ensure that this new picture in our lives will become a masterpiece.

It is fine to be overwhelmed, but just keep on painting. There will be a point when all of what we do will start to make sense. When we can stand back and be proud of the picture which we have created.

'n Nuwe Jaarstafel

Aan die begin van hierdie jaar het ek besluit om ‘n fees te hou. Soos dit enige fees betaam het ‘n mens ‘n lang tafel nodig, gedek met jou beste eetservies. Daar word vir weke aan ‘n behoorlike fees beplan. Die opstel van die gastelys, beplanning van die spyskaart, aankope, voorbereiding van die kos...

Gewoonlik word hierdie beplanning en moeite gereserveer vir baie spesiale geleenthede, soos Kersfees en verjaardae. Maar hierdie jaar het ek besluit dat die koms van 2013 beslis gevier moet word.

In plaas daarvan om ‘n die jaar met ‘n lys nuwejaarsvoornemens te peper het ek besluit om eerder die gaste aan my tafel so te kies dat hulle as inspirasie vir die jaar wat voorlê sal dien.

Die eerste gas op my lysie is Passie. Ek hoop dat sy met haar vurigheid en warm persoonlikheid die geselskap sal laat knetter.

Vrede verskyn volgende op my lys. Ek weet hy sal op sy stil, sterk manier ‘n gewigtige teenwoordigheid aan die tafel wees.

Humor is ‘n aangename gas. ‘n Besige man, maar ek hoop tog dat hy sy weg sal oop sien om deel van die fees te wees.

Ek vergeet so dikwels om Wysheid na feestelike geleenthede te nooi, maar van hierdie fees sal ek haar beslis deel maak. Sy gee ‘n nuwe dimensie aan geleenthede soos die.

Aan die hoof van my tafel sit ek Deursettingsvermoë se naamkaartjie. Daar is soveel tye wanneer ‘n mens iets groot aanpak en waar hy nie deel van die geselskap is nie, raak mens meestal oorweldig.

Ek wil geen moeite ontsien om hierdie fees onvergeetlik te maak nie. Net die beste bestanddele vir elke gereg sal goed genoeg wees. Ek wil so graag hierdie gaste van my tuis laat voel, deel van my huis. Mag hulle hierdie jaar vele male kom kuier. Elke gas aan my tafel sal sy stempel op my lewe afdruk. Uiteindelik wil ek hierdie jaar leer om elke dag feestelik te lewe. Om elke dag met passie aan te pak, om in wysheid en met deursettingsvermoë elke taak en uitdaging op my pad aan te pak en uiteindelik, ongeag van die uitkoms in God se vrede te leef.
En natuurlik is dit altyd goed om meer en meer dikwels vir jouself en die lewe te kan lag..

Mag 2013 ook vir jou ‘n fees wees.

Reflection

Every now and then we need to stop and stare. Stare back at the path which leaded us up to the point where we are now. Contemplate on the road ahead – plan and pray, with the feeling of expectation filling our hearts.

The end of the year is such a time for all of us. The world around us forces us to go slower, relax and for a moment get the long needed perspective which has been evading us during the year.

2012 was a wonderful year. I have experienced more during this year than ever before in my life. Most of it is mainly because I have had the privilege to become a mother, but it is only part of it. It was also a tough year. There were goals that we could not meet, we worked hard and lost some battles, up to the point where we all felt we needed a break desperately.

There are no guarantees that 2013 will be easier. I cannot remind myself ever hearing people say – this was a wonderful year, much better than the year before that. It seems that time will always fly faster and faster, finances become less and less and we grow older and older.

But despite that I am thankful. Never during this year, both during the highlights and the downsides, have I ever felt that God was not with me through it all. He has been so generous and maybe it is because of hardship that we get even closer to Him.

After another year, where patterns in the world just repeated themselves all over again, I just want to take this with me into the New Year. Not the hope that 2013 will be better or easier, but just the peace in knowing that no matter, what God is with me all the way.

The Washing Machine

Def: The laundry machine, washing machine, clothes washer, or washer is a machine to wash laundry, such as clothing and sheets. The term is mostly applied only to machines that use water as opposed to dry cleaning (which uses alternative cleaning fluids, and is performed by specialist businesses) or ultrasonic cleaners. (Wikipedia)

For humans to live in close proximity to each other we need to smell good, look good, be clean and presentable. In short – we need to wash ourselves and the clothes we wear regularly. Not surprisingly then, that the first patent for a machine classified under the category washing and wringing was issued in England in 1691, long before the industrial revolution or the invention of electricity. The machine did not exactly look like the washing machines we know, but still the need was there and it had to be satisfied. From there the quest for ‘the washing machine’ began.

Finally in 1904 the electric washing machine arrived. Fischer, an American citizen has incorrectly been accredited with the invention of the electric washing machine as we know it, but at least one patent for such a device was registered in America before he registered his.

Now, why on earth have I devoted a piece of literature to this for granted electrical appliance? Can we describe it as a miracle in our everyday lives? Maybe it was a 100 years ago as articles have described the washing machine as more liberating than the contraceptive pill… We have to realise, before the arrival of a machine with washing ability, the tedious action of maintaining hygiene lay in the coarse hands of the woman of the house. She usually had to offer a day or more of her week washing and wringing away…

So yes, maybe it is still a unappreciated miracle, drowned by the voices of iPads and iPhones and iPods and all other forms of nanotechnology.

But one thing I am sure of: the washing machine is not is a form of entertainment. We hide it in our pantry. It is not applauded for its aesthetic or entertainment qualities. Not until now…

Isn’t it wonderful to see how an everyday activity, like the workings of a washing machine become magical through the eyes of a child.

Andreas enjoyed every moment and we enjoyed him. There we were sitting – the three of us, in our pantry, marvelling at our own washing machine. The entertainment did not cost a cent.

There are things in life which are simply priceless, like seeing your child exploring the world.

Thank you Andreas. Through your eyes I get a new perspective on the world.

Jelly Babe

To have a child is surely one of the most life changing event which could ever happen to you. Nothing in your life is ever the same…

In their innocence they come, take your whole life, your heart, your being and turn it all upside down. They come without reservation, the only agenda they have is to be fed, cleaned and loved, but believe me that ‘little’ agenda of theirs keeps you busy all day.

They don’t ask for anything, they just simply cry to get it. They drain your pocket, occupy your thought, and crawl into the centre of your heart.

You don’t have free time anymore and should you get it sleep sounds like the best way to spend it on. You know now that you never knew the true meaning of work, until now.



Knowing all this, who in their right mind would ever want to put themselves through all this?

On Saturday, as I was sitting watching my jelly babe all the above faded away – because despite them taking all your energy they give back so much more. With their innocent vitality they have the power to transform an ordinary day into a memorable event.

They teach us that enjoyment lies in the ordinary things.

Something we so often forget.