Jakaranda Tree

We can find strength and comfort in so many things. During one of the most difficult times in my life I was comforted by a Jakaranda tree, full in bloom. It was during a time I felt so alone, walking away from a long relationship.
I drove past the Jakaranda tree every day, a common sight in Pretoria. But this tree was different. It stood alone on a piece of ground, not among many others on the side of the road, as they usually do.

The fact that it was alone did not stand in its way. It was truly an amazing tree. Almost double the size of the other trees, drenched in purple, it was a source of awe for everyone passing by. This tree was embracing the growing space that it was granted. On its own it used its solitude to bloom, grow and bring joy into the lives of others.

Sometimes God also takes us through trials to a solitary piece of ground. A place He has chosen for us, where we can grow freely and become a source of hope, joy and peace to others in our lives.
We do not always understand where God may lead. But when the path takes us to fertile ground, where the Gardener can prune and water us to serve others, then we will understand.

Dreams

" Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all."
Carlos Castaneda

Our dreams are influenced and changed by time. As we grow older our priorities, goals and dreams change. Our dreams mingle with experience, wisdom, cynisism, new perspectives. Time might grant us the opportunity to spend more time with long lost dreams - to rediscover them.
Does not matter how we spend our time on dream development, it is important to keep our minds fertile, always cultivating new dream seeds.

Years ago me and Mario drew inspiration from a couple. We met them while on holiday by the sea. Beside the fire in the evenings they came to share with us their plans and dreams for the future. Being very young, energetic and positive about our future together we already accumulated quite a few dreams for our future together. Some of those dreams seemed so unrealistically far away, we sometimes felt that we would never have the time to get to them all. Listening to this couple describing their dream to build the retirement home of their dreams, on their farm beside the Vaal River, similar to the house in the movie - The Golden Pond, inspired me to live by the philosophy that we may never grow too old to dream.
We will only be old once, regret has taken the place of our dreams.

With time our dreams will change, to fall into the scope of our physical abilities and spiritual season of growth, but our age may never be an excuse not to dream.

• Many dreams have subdivisions. The dream is not and end in itself. One dream might through its fulfillment generate the power to put another dream within reach. Dreams pave the way for each other.

• When one dream comes true there will always be the danger that the things which gave us joy previously are not big enough to sustain us. It is as if the new dream, now a reality has heightened our standards. Remember, with every achievement, with every success you have to force yourself to stay on ground level. Always draw your joy and peace from God, the only eternal sustainable source of satisfaction. Distance yourself from your dreams that became reality, it may never become that which sustains you.

• With every dream comes a sacrifice and risk. Working towards the fulfillment of your dreams mean to rise, to fly above everyday obstacles and challenges. You won't be able to fly with heavy baggage attached to you. We have to leave some things behind. Many people have given up their dreams, because they feel more comfortable on ground level surrounded by their baggage. Its a choice between security vs uncertainty. You have to weigh up the price. Choose well my friend.

• Believe in your dreams. If you are sure that those dreams are within God's will for your life they will come true. God will put your patience and faith to the test. But once He is sure that you are worthy of this dream He has planted within you, He will give it to you. For years I have walked around with a picture in my head of the perfect man for me. Through the years the image changes a little, but the basic characterisitics stayed the same. I believed in this dream, but as the years passed by I started to doubt the existence of such a man. Just before I gave up on the dream, he arrived. He is not perfect, our relationship is a work in progress. But I can hang in there, I can give everything, I can enjoy even the hard times all because I did not forsake me dream and it did not forsake me.

• Dreams are influenced by the people we come in contact with. People introduce us to realms previously unknown to us. We can't dream if we don't have something to dream about. Through other people we are enriched, our dreams become weaved around the ones we love and respect. God use people to encourage us to take the risks needed to make our dreams reality. Most of us will know of someone, if not ourselves, who would not have been able to be who they are if it wasn't for the continous support of someone else. Our dreams are shaped those around us.

We might be walking around with skeleton dreams, those dreams where the end is written, but the route to get there is unclear. Those dreams need the muscle of direction to bring them alive. God will use people in your life to become like a honeyguide, showing you the route to Canaan. It will still be your dream, you will still need to take the risks, but don't be afraid to take guidance from others.

Everyone who have had a the privilege of tasting the honey of a dream come true, have an obligation. Use your experience to become a honey guide in the dreams of other people. Use you influence, your faith, your wisdom to help others make their dreams come true. That in itself will be a dream fulfilled.

Stilte

Vir baie lank kon ek nie skryf nie. Dis nie dat ek nie probeer het nie - ek was opsoek na stories, maar selfs met 'n idee in my agterkop wou die woorde nie kom nie.

Tot ek op 'n dag uit pure frutstrasie aan 'n gebrek na iets om the luister, die karradio afgesit het. Toe die stilte my tref was my eerste instink om die radio weer aan te sit. Ek moes vir 'n paar minute veg teen die instinktiewe drang om die leë spasie te vul met klank.

Hoekom is ons so bang vir stilte? Elke oomblik van die dag wil ons gesus word met die wete dat ons nie alleen op aarde is nie - ons wil hoor van ander se ellende op die nuus, saam sing op die maat van die nuutste Highveld Stereo treffer. Ons klou aan ons selfone, praat asof ons nooit weer gehoor sal word nie.

Hoekom is mens ongemaklik wanneer jy alleen is met net jou eie gedagtes as agtergrondmusiek?

Want ons ken onsself nie meer nie. En hoe kan jy gemaklik wees in iemand se geselskap wie jy nie ken nie. Dit vat tyd om iemand te leerken. Die proses is soms langsaam en pynlik, sonder enige waarborge. Wie weet - jy mag dalk dinge omtrent jouself uitvind wat jy nooit geweet het nie, of nie kans sien om in die gesig te staar nie.

Maar ons bly jaag na doelwitte, wat uiteindelik wanneer ons terugkyk oor ons lewens betekenisloos was, omdat ons nooit stil geword het en tyd gemaak het om onsself in ons eie belsuite te ken nie.

Ek kon vir baie lank nie skryf nie, want hoe kan ek skryf wanneer ek my eie stem nie meer hoor nie?

Moenie bang wees vir stilte nie - omarm dit, proe dit, ruik dit, kyk dit vol in die oë. Jy mag dalk net jouself in oomblikke van stilte raakloop.

Suurdeeg

Ek het vandag gaan brood koop - 'n gereelde gebeurtenis. Maar vandag was anders. Terwyl ek staan en wag dat die vrou wat my help die brood in 'n sakkie gooi en 'n prys opplak vang my oog 'n houer met klein bolletjies wat wag om oond toe te gaan.

Klein bolletjies deeg, nie eers 5cm in deursnit nie. Party met sesame saadjies op, party met kaas en ander met 'n bietjie knoffel.

Ek staan met my broodrolle in die hand. Groot, vet rolletjies. Daardie einste rolletjies was ook 5cm in deursnit. Dit was voor hulle vir 40 minute in die oond beland het. Daardie klein rolletjies het, te danke aan die gistingsproses, die kombinasie van suurdeeg en hitte, wat die deeg deurtrek, groot genoeg geword om my maag vol te maak.

Daardie klein stukkie deeg word onder die invloed van daardie suurdeeg groot genoeg om mense te voed, van energie te verskaf. Was die suurdeeg nie daar nie sou daardie stukkie deeg klein bly en kliphard word.

So is ons ook - inherent is ons 'n klein stukkie deeg. Ons voel dikwels of ons niks kan bereik nie, geen verskil kan maak nie. Maar wanneer die Heilige Gees in ons lewe, verander alles. Ons hele binneste word deur die Heilige Gees se teenwoordigheid gevul. Ons rys uit bo ons eie kragte, ons kan ander mense se honger na liefde versadig, ons gee substansie aan ander deur ons teenwoordigheid.

Ons is tot alles instaat deur die Gees wat soos suurdeeg ons hele lewe deurtrek. Sonder hierdie suurdeeg sal ons kliphard word, sonder enige waarde wat ons tot ander se lewens toevoeg.

Soos brooddeeg suurdeeg nodig het om brood te word, so het ons die Gees nodig om waarlik mens te word.

Nuwejaar

Reis skep nuwe openbarings. Jy leer jouself ken, leer om met jouself en ander saam te leef. Die vreemde word die enigste realiteit, jou beplanning geskeduleer rondom die vorming van blywende herinneringe.

Vir my bly een van die blywendste openbarings van reis die unieke kulture en gebruike van die vreemde mense waarmee jy in kontak kom. Aanvanklik klink en kom almal so vreemd voor in vergelyking met jouself. Die taal, eetgewoontes, optrede, manier van dink en waardesisteme van bevolkingsgroepe reg oor die aarde is uniek. Jy verstaan nie altyd hoekom mense reageer soos hulle doen, wat hulle motivering is vir 'n sekere optrede nie. Maar dit alles is deel van die belewenis.

Soos mens meer en meer reis begin mens later deur 'n ander bril na mense kyk. Jy besef dat die mens tog 'n universele wese is. Daar is ooreenkomste wat oor kultuurgrense heen strek. Ooreenkomste wat nie bepaal word deur agtergrond, opvoeding of landsgrense nie. Ons almal ken vreugde, verlange, almal wil geborge voel, 'n doelwit om na te streef.

Almal van ons verstaan die taal van hartseer. Ons almal het al vrees in die gesig gekyk. Almal van ons wil op ons kniee gaan in dankbaarheid, maar ook om woorde in afhanklikheid te prewel.

Handdrukke ken geen dialek nie, 'n glimlag het nie 'n tolk nodig nie.

So is dit dan: tussen die verskille bestaan ook die raakpunte. In ons land deurweef met soveel kultuurklere, mag ons in hierdie nuwe jaar ons verskill omhels, want dit maak ons en die land waarin ons woon uniek.

Ons moet leer bymekaar, en gee vir mekaar.

Terwyl ons dan ons verskille omhels, mag ons ooreemkomste raakpunte word. Mag ons sien waar ons die universele taal van liefde en aanvaarding kan praat. Vrede ontkiem nie daar waar jy die mense om jou verander het om in jou raamwerk te pas nie. Nee, dit is daar waar jy verryk kan word uit die diversiteit wat jou omring.

Jy hoef nie met almal en alles saam te stem nie. Bly jouself, wees trots op wie jy is en waar jy vandaan kom. Gun dit vir jouself, maar meer belangrik ook vir die om jou.

Voorspoedige 2010!

Naamloos

Die gymkultuur. Hoef ek enigeiets meer te spreek...
Ek het onlangs daarvoor geval. Pens en pootjies. 'n Mens kry oggend of aand gymmense. Tot dusver kry ek dit darem reg om daardie 45min ekstra slaap op te offer ter wille van bietjie ekstra oefening (ons sal maar sien of ons dit in die winter kan volhou).

Daar is 'n hele paar elemente wat deel van die gymkultuur uitmaak. 'n Paar oorfone, Ipod om die arm en 'n starende uitdrukking. Om te lyk of jy oefen, maar eintlik het jy net 'n oog op die muffins by die smoothie bar. Om gewigte te oefen terwyl jy net eintlik na jouself in die spieel kyk.

Ai, die vreugdes (en pyn) van oefen.

Terwyl ek toe nou die oggend, werklik sweet op die oefenfiets speel 'n insetsel (klankloos) op Supersport oor die 94.7 fietswedren.
Hulle wys vele onderhoude met fietsryers - die wie dit gemaak het ... en die wie nou nie so gelukkig was nie.
Weens die gebrek aan klank by die gym moes ek maar uitmaak met wie gepraat word aan die hand van die onderskrifte.
Dit het my nie lank geneem om te besef dat die meeste fietsryers maar naamloos is nie.
Net die name van die wenners en naaswenners was tydens die onderhoude aangedui.

Dit is seker maar hoe ons ou lewe werk. Net die mense wat iets bereik se name word onthou. Die res van ons gaan dikwels maar redelik naamloos deur die lewe. Eers wanneer jy genoeg geld gemaak het, genoeg rekords gebreek het sal iemand die moeite doen om van jou te weet.

Dit is so jammer dat ons so dikwels dieselfde kriteria gebruik wanneer ons na onsself kyk. Ek begin eers vir myself waardig word wanneer ek die suksesleer klim, in 'n blink kar rondrits, die regte vriende het en in meer as een asems my prestasies kan inryg.

Wanneer al hierdie dinge dan van ons weggeneem word en ons soos Job verslae op 'n ashoop agterbly, dan moet ons binne onsself weet dat ons nie naamloos sal word nie.

Ons moet wegkom van hoe almal om ons, ons sien. Ons moet onsself begin sien soos
God doen. Dawid beskryf dit so mooi in die Psalms - God het jou al geken toe jy in jou moeder se skoot was. Jy is vir Hom soos die appel van sy oog. Vir Hom het jy al 'n naam gehad nog voordat jou eie ouers vir jou 'n naam kon gee.

By Hom het jy 'n naam al kon jy nie eers op jou fiets kom om die 94.7 te ry nie.
Hy sien jou as iemand van waarde, ongeag hoe ander na jou kyk.

Wie sien jy as jy in die spieel kyk?

My Promise

To my Love.

There are so many things I would like to say but can't, because of what time grants us today might be snatched by circumstance the next.

But if it might be in my power and privilege may I:

• always carry the look of amazement in your eyes like crown jewels
• may my affection be a functional demonstration of support rather than a decorative art
• let the words between us rather be like salt, sometimes burning on wounds of disagreement but always complementing the taste of commitment between us
• may every step we take be together, without turning mutual agreement into mindless acceptance
• may our ways stay in the simple things, while our conversations provide challenge, growth, intrigue...
• may we stay two players with the same goal, still able to see the same task through our own perspectives the one not too absorbed with the other, unable to appreciate the uniqueness of the other's character
• may we always remember yesterday, without longing for things that have passed and can't be retrieved
• may our silences be nourishing, like camphor cream on the cracked heals of stress and time
• may we plant roses where nettle and weeds once grew
• may we kiss with more than just our mouths
• may we give ourselves, not loosing who we are
• when we disagree may our quarrels always be the start, not the end of things to come
• may we always pray together, for each other, for us..

This is my simple wish, but this contains my soul, my life, my being.

And in this lies my promise:

That I shall give the everything I have in honesty, without expectancy, in faith so that all our wishes will become a reality.