Luister

Clint Eastwood is een van my rolmodelle. 'n Man wat in die tagtigs is en nogsteeds sy lewe vul met die dinge waaroor hy passievol is. Nie net is hy 'n uitstekende akteur nie en regiseur nie, maar selfs die musiek vir sy flieks komponeer hyself (hy sing ook van die liedjies self, maar ek beskou sy akteursvernuf beslis as 'n groter aanwins vir die vermaaklikheidsbedryf).

Jy kan maar weet: enige fliek van hom gaan vir 'n hele tyd lank in jou gedagtes bly draai. Nou onlangs het daar 'n luilekker DVD aand vir my gewag. Ek het Changeling met Angelina Jolie in die hoofrol uitgeneem. Ek wonder altyd hoe hulle haar klere ontwerp kry om al die tattoos weggesteek te kry, maar nietemin bly sy 'n goeie aktrise.

Die fliek is gegrond op 'n ware verhaal oor Mev. Collins en die gebeure rondom haar seun se verdwyning. Sy is 'n enkelouer, en een dag met haar terugkeer van die werk af is haar seun weg. Die tema van die hele fliek is die effek wat mense, wat nie na ander luister nie, op 'n persoon se lewe kan het. Dit begin reeds vroeg in die fliek wanneer sy haar seun as vermis wil aanmeld en niemand na haar wil luister nie. Sy moet 24 uur wag, al weet sy haar kind is bang om selfs die huis alleen te verlaat, maar dit is hoe die sisteem werk en haar hande is afgekap.

Sake raak net nog meer belaglik wanneer hulle "haar seun" terugvind. Ten spyte daarvan dat sy aanmekaar bevestig dat dit nie haar seun is nie, luister niemand nie. Sy gooi selfs bewyse voor hulle, soos dat die teruggevinde seun korter is, nie sy onderwyser ken nie, maar alles tevergeefs. Die polisie verkies om nie te luister nie, want sou hulle erken sy is reg, het hulle gefaal.
Die oomblik toe sy die media te betrek, het die risiko bestaan dat ander na haar sou begin luister. Hulle oplossing was om haar te laat sertifiseer en na 'n  psigiatriese hospitaal te verban.

Maar hoekom luister mense nie? Daar is so baie redes.
Jy sal altyd vind dat mense weier om te luister na iemand wat die waarheid praat wanneer hulle in 'n leuen leef . Want soos in Changeling, is daar altyd 'n prys daaraan verbonde om te erken dat jy gelieg het en na die waarheid te draai.

Dikwels luister ons nie, omdat onsself so baie praat. Luister is 'n daad. Dit verg energie. Anders as wat mens dink is dit nie 'n passiewe toestand nie. Om te luister beteken dat mens moet rustig raak, die stem binne jou moet stilmaak en moeite moet doen om nie net die woorde van die persoon wat praat in te neem nie, maar werklik te probeer verstaan wat die ander persoon met elke woord bedoel.

Ons sal net begin luister wanneer ons ander mense respekteer, wanneer ons ander voor onsself kan plaas. Solank as wat ons glo dat die persoon wat praat nie belangrik is nie sal ek nie moeite doen om daardie persoon te verstaan nie, want wanneer ek iemand probeer verstaan is daar dikwels aksies wat daaruit vloei. As ek verstaan wat iemand ongelukkig maak, dan moet ek ook bereid wees om dit wat ek kan te doen om daardie persoon by te staan.

Nog 'n rede hoekom mense hoor, maar eerder nie luister nie is uit vrees. Vrees vir 'n waarheid waarmee hulle gekonfronteer sal word en 'n lewensverandering sal verg. Ons is so dikwels in 'n gemaksone met onsself, maar ook met die plek waar ons onsself bevind. So dikwels is dit die mense naby aan ons wat die moed bymekaar sal skraap om daardie gemaksones vir ons uit te wys. En so dikwels is dit juis daardie mense wat ons in die gesig vat deur ons ore voor te sluit.

Om opregte luisteraars te wees beteken dat ons biddend en luisterend by die Vader moet begin leer wat dit beteken om waarlik te luister.
Die Heilige Gees sal ons ore sensitief maak vir die ware betekenis van die woorde van elke persoon wat ons mee in kontak kom.
Vra Hom daarvoor, Hy sal luister.

Wit Hoender

Die mens wil altyd weet hoekom. Hoekom is ek hier? Hoekom gebeur dit met my? Hoekom werk dit of werk dit nie? Hoekom voel ek soos ek voel? Hoekom wil niks sin maak nie?

Partymaal word die hoekoms beantwoord. Maar so dikwels bly die antwoorde weg. Ons hou later op met soek, onder die indruk dat ons nooit volkome sal verstaan nie.

Daar is hoekoms wat tot ons met die ewigheid ontmoet grootliks waaroms sal bly, maar soveel vrae het antwoorde. Met 'n vakansie in Graskop het ons opgemerk dat die smouse langs die paaie meteens beghin het om wit hout hoenders te produseer. Die tarentale en seekoeie moes helaas swig voor 'n mak plaasdie. Ons was verbaas hieroor.

Sekerlik moes die vroeëre weergawes tog beter verkoop het, veral onder die oorsese safari-gangers.

Lank het ons gespekuleer rondom die redes vir die verandering. Uiteindelik het ons een vban die smouse gevra: "Why are you making the white chickens?"

Die antwoord: "Because the white people buy them."

Geen diep artistiese verklaring wat woorde soos inspirasie en kreatiwiteit insluit nie.
Dit het my geleer - meeste antwoorde is eenvoudig. Ons moet soms ophou glo dat die lewe te moeilik is om te verstaan. Soveel maal is dit net ons eie interpretasies wat die lewe kompliseer. Die lewe moet geleef word, om verstaan te word.

Miskien moet ons dalk eerder ons vrae herfraseer. Want die antwoorde wat ons uit die lewe haal, word bepaal deur die vrae wat ons vra. Ons sal nooit by die waarheid uitkom as ons nie die vrae vra wat ons by die waarheid gaan uitbring nie.

Miskien moet ons eerder vir die wit mense vra hoekom hulle die wit hoenders wil koop.

The Reality

Living in South Africa means to be faced with many unpleasant realities. We read about murder, robberies, rape everyday and so often either a loved one or even ourselves are left traumatised by one of these events.

What should we make of all this? How do we put it all in perspective?

I have experienced so many different emotions in reaction to what I see around me. It is almost as if I have seasons of different negative emotions alternating themselves. There is anger. Anger towards what happens to all the innocent victims of crime and poverty. Anger, because I don't feel safe in my own home, anger because I can't walk in the street feeling safe.

Then there is sorrow. Sorrow for the lives lost. Sorrow for opportunities lost to corruption and unfair doing.

Sometimes there is bitterness. So often it is the bitterness that roots itself into our lives especially after our own personal taste of all these unpleasant realities. It tends to infiltrate all our thoughts and actions.

The emotion I certainly most fear, is fear itself. It is out of fear that so many of us want to leave this country. It is our of fear that we can't see the good in other people anymore.

All of these are valid emotions, almost natural reactions to these unnatural realities we face. But I don't want to live with the baggage of these emotions in my life. I don't want anger, sorrow, bitterness and fear to drain the energy I could have used constructively everyday.

So how can we fight this? While struggling with all of this I was listening to pod casts by David Pawson. This wise man's words stuck with me. He just said: God won't let the devil do anything to me (His child) that has not gone through His authority first. Therefore He will not put anything in front of you that He knows you cannot handle without Him.

The secret is - you can face anything as long as you abide in Him. God does not withhold sorrow or pain, but He will never let you go through anything that can spiritually destroy you.

I would rather face danger but have God's peace in me than living in safety but with fear ruling over me. The reality is: nobody can touch us without going through Jesus. That is true safety.

Conversion to Christianity

What does it mean to be born again?

I can still remember the day I gave my life to Jesus. It was an ordinary day. No fireworks, no music playing in the background.

But after that day nothing in my life has ever been the same.

I was blind, but now I (c)see!

What has changed? For me it was not becoming someone else. I am still me, but it is as if God has just come and put a new set of glasses on my eyes. The glasses of His salvation. For the first time I was able to see the world through the eyes of Jesus.

All the negative (c)sees get replaced by they way God wants me to (c)see life.

The first c He replaces is condemnation. Jesus does this through giving himself as sacrifice, instead of us. Through confessing that I have sinned by judging those around me I can become part of His grace in my life. He comes and removes the condemnation that I have had for other people in this world. Confession of what we have done, who we are and the things that we thought nobody would see we become part of God's inheritance for us in our lives.

A life without God is filled with complexity. We do not understand this world. As long as we do not see the world through spiritual eyes we will not be able to understand our purpose in life. When I become a child of God He wants to give me clarity. This clarity enables me to understand why I am here, at this moment. I begin to c why God has given me certain opportunities and how I should respond in the situations that He has placed me.

Once we c ourselves through the eyes of Jesus we cannot stay complacent. We cannot pretend that we are not part of this world, filled by pain and unrighteousness. We might not be from this world, but God wants us to be part of it, so that we can make a difference. God destroys our complacency and face us with new challenges. He challenges us to live the life that Jesus led in example. He wants us to put love first, before anything we might want for ourselves. Once we take up the challenges of His love we will realise the true meaning of Christianity.

Now we can't complain anymore. Instead he fills us with celebration, courage, creativity and eyes that c!

Let God replace these in your life:

Condemnation with Confession

Complacency with Challenges

Complexion with Clarity

Complaining with Celebration, Courage and Creativity

All so that we can truely C!

Routine

I have never been drawn to a life of routine. My reasons - I believe it can kill inspiration, innovation and creativity. Recently, I came to realise that routine has a purpose when applied in the appropriate way.

There are dangers to routine, that we can't deny. But sometimes your worst enemy can be your closest ally as well. For me the red lights concerning routine start to flash when it starts to penetrate all aspects of my life. When my life becomes a planned event. That kills all emotion, because without spontaneity I deprive myself from experiencing unexpected emotions. We start to loose our own opinion on matters in life, because it is through confrontation with the unexpected that we are forced to think, forced to form our own opinions. A life ruled by routine minimizes constructive thinking. We can't stay creative and constructive in an environment where everything is pre-planned, where the construction has taken place already. And lastly, but for me the most dangerous side-effect of routine is that it cultivates laziness. If I know that I will go home every night and watch television, have dinner, go to bed all at the same time then I do not need to think about my life. The unexpected, the things we do not plan for on the other hand, needs planning, it needs thought.

Routine creates frustration if not used as a proper tool. We need to construct our lives in such a manner that routine works for us, not the other way around. When carefully incorporated into our busy schedules routine has got definite advantages. It provides a source of safety and security. It saves us time, because the basic day-to-day events can be incorporated into a routine that needs less planning and daily effort to remember. In some instances it prevents us from missing things we might not have remembered if it was not part of our daily routine.

At the home I grew up in my mom planted ivy. It grew up against the brick walls and softened the house's facade. It had to be groomed continuously, because without pruning it, it always overgrown and defeated its purpose. Routine is like ivy. It is both a beautiful and functional attribute in our lives as long as we are prepared to maintain its growth. We need to cut it away all the time to make sure that it does not rule our lives, that we do not fall into the trap of the routine comfort.

On the topic of controlling routine - I find the following tips useful in my life:

• Identify areas in your life where you need control (ex. exercise, bible study)
• Outline the purpose or advantage that routine will bring to that area in your life
• Implement a routine that would cultivate that advantage
• Use the time saved by implementation of the routine to do something creative like making chocolate ivy leaves (see the recipe below)

Remember whenever you are making these leaves - that routine (the ivy leave) should always result in a creative by-product (chocolate ivy-leaves). If routine does not serve that purpose in your life re-visit the tips above.

Chocolate ivy-leaves

• 1/2 slab of brown or white baking chocolate
• 10-20 ivy leaves of different sizes

Melt the chocolate on the stove. Medium heat. Use a teaspoon to put chocolate on the coarse side of the leaf. With a knife spread the chocolate over the whole leaf. Put in the fridge until hard enough. Pull the leaf away from the chocolate, very carefully.

With your extra creativity put these leaves to use in any manner out of your daily routine.

Verjaardag

Ons almal het 'n dag van die jaar nodig waar ons spesiaal wil en mag voel. 'n Dag waarop mens kan doen net wat jy wil, wens net wat jy wil, drome droom wat al lank vergete is. Alles sonder om skuldig te voel.

'n Dag wat net joune alleen is.

Dit is wat verjaardag vir my beteken. 'n Dag waarop mense vir mekaar op soveel maniere kan laat weet wat hulle vir mekaar beteken, dat hulle aan mekaar dink en dat hulle vir mekaar spesiaal is.

'n Dag van vreugde wanneer mens elke sms, facebook boodskap en oproep vir solank as moontlik teen jou hart will vashou. Elke woord en gedagte, elke kaartjie en geskenkie 'n stukkie energie in vir die pad wat die volgende jaar op mens wag.

Ek het nog nooit ouer op my verjaarsdae gevoel nie. Veel eerder jonger, met inspirasie wat uit elke klein boodskappie kom.

Dit is 'n dag waarop mens net kan lag, mal wees, of net rustig, selfs 'n bietjie selfsugtig - sonder om te skuldig te voel...

Maak nie saak nie, dit is jou dag.

Maar aan die einde van daardie dag is daar een emosie wat my altyd oorweldig - dankbaarheid.

Dankbaarheid vir een en elke persoon tot wie se gedagtes jy dit gemaak het op daardie dag.

Want ons verdien niks.

Ons het geen geboorteregte nie, net voorregte.

Vier daarom fees op elke verjaardag! Dit is jou genadedag.

Building a House

I'm not an architect or an engineer. For that reason I pay little attention to the structure of a house, the actual design. My eye will rather be diverted to the colour the walls are painted, the finishes in a home like the tiles and decoration.

But despite my ignorance I do realise that there are more to a house than meets the eye. It is those hidden qualities of a house that have to be in place to prevent the house from collapsing.
The Bible also uses this to describe the ways in which we should constitute our lives in honour of God.

Every day we are building. Our lives are structures under constant re-construction and renovation through the daily choices we make.
For any building project to operate successfully a plan is needed. We have a choice: we can use the world's norms and standards to draw up our plan or we can use God's architectural services. Upon choosing God as our architect we have the assurance from His Word that certain qualities are included in the building package:

• Matthew 7:24-27 - God himself is the foundation. Through Jesus' death on the cross He became the everlasting rock. The cornerstone. Although rejected by many, for those who take refuge in Him He becomes an infallible source of hope and strength.
• Psalm 122:7 - When God builds our house He will also provide us with the suitable interior decorating. He will hang peace on our walls. Eternal rest will furnace our homes.
• Iss 60:18 - Surrounded by crime we need to surround our homes with high walls as form of protection. The walls God build are covered with the blood of His salvation. Like the Israelites we should cover our walls with His blood so that the world will know why we are saved.
• The entrances to our homes should be praise to God. Every day we must lift our hands and thoughts in praise, giving God entry to our daily activities.

It is so easy to start building lives of our own. To forsake God in the way we live, speak, think... But even then God won't give up hope. In Revelation 3:20 we read that He stands at the door and knocks. He knocks on all the doors of those houses not built according to His Master plan. The day we decide to open those doors He will come in and there will be a feast. Unlike other guests He will not leave though. He will stay and become a permanent resident.

Not every house will become a home. A home is not a structure - it is a space filled with joy and memories. A place where we are surrounded by the ones we love and where we are at peace with ourselves and our surroundings.

Not everyone can have a house of their own, but everyone can have a home. May you find your true home and with it the courage and wisdom to invite the Host of all Hosts as permanent resident in your haven.