Social IQ

Definition: Social intelligence describes the exclusively human capacity to effectively navigate and negotiate complex social relationships and environments. (Ross Honeywill, Research Director, Social Intelligence Lab)

Social intelligence is a buzzword, which have emerged on the scene along with many other words which would have sounded alien to us only a few years ago.


Today it is believed that it is not enough to merely have a high intelligence. People with a lower intelligence, but a high social IQ have a better chance of being successful in the corporate environment. In plain language – if you have a high social IQ, you have people skills. You only have to google the word and within seconds you can take a social IQ test, you can invest in programs to raise your child’s social IQ. It seems like everyone wants to climb onto the bandwagon.


With the buzz around social skills of human beings, also came other words with the concept of social in them, social networks for example. Again we are surrounded by words like facebook, twiiter, bbm, words which were alien concepts only a few years ago. In my opinion there is not much social about social networks. It is a genius communication tool, which in the right hands and guarded by certain principles of use, have the wonderful ability to connect people all over the world. Unfortunately we have started to talk through these tools. Some prefer to type out their conversations in silence, avoiding eye contact. Sit alone at home, with the false belief that they have many friends on facebook, ‘friends’ whom they have not seen in years. We give preferences to our cellphones in the company of others, can’t live a day without our blackberries by our sides.


Information has become cheap indeed. We have very good relationships with our iphones and spend more time in the relationship with our galaxies than with the people we share a roof with.


The irony is that we still debate why divorce rates are so high, why our children’s communication skills are underdeveloped, why we feel so lonely, although we are surrounded by people (all of them typing away on their handhelds).


Is all lost?


Yesterday, I watched two little girls, each of them just over a year old. They have never met before. Within seconds after they have met they were holding hands. Slowly they found each other’s rhythm and within a few minutes they were dancing and laughing together. What was unfolding infront of my eyes was a perfect example of harmonious and effortless human interaction.


Then I realised – there is hope. We all have the ability to interact and socialise within us. We are born with it. We do not need tests to measure the ability. We do not need programs to teach our children how to interact with others. Just give them the opportunity and they will. We need to nurture that natural need and ability of us to be and enjoy the company of others. Do not allow any modern invention to take the place of a solid get together with loved ones. It is priceless.