Fast Lane Living

I eat too fast, drive too fast, don't have enough time for simple things in life, time to be quiet and reflect, time to invest in those around me.

These symptoms are all known to us - all part of a syndrome, so often diagnosable: Fast Lane Living.
Every day we are confronted with a mathematical equation, that we are fooled to believe is true: speed = efficacy.
We are prone to believe that the faster we progress, the more we will get done. Very soon we are trapped in the maize of our own routines and efforts, just to meet the deadline, get the job done.

Everything we do become time-framed. 6-7 - get up, dress; 7-8- drive to work; drop children off; 8-5 - work; 5-6 - drive home; 6-8 - feed everyone; 8-10 - get more work done. Everyday this repeats itself. Somewhere down the line we loose ourselves, we start living past those around us.

When approaching life as a race, there are a few characteristics of a race, that we will inevitably incorporate into our lives:

• A race only has one winner.The race towards success, prestige and worldly recognition often has only one winner. If we are not on top of the success ladder we start to believe falsely that we are failures. But what would be the alternative? God wants us to run the race towards eternity. In God's race every participant has the opportunity to become a winner. The only prerequisite is that you have to finish what you have started. It is not about how quickly you can get it done, but if and how you get it done. The race must be against yourself, don't measure yourself against others. God is more concerned about our soul-welfare, than our material-welfare. He wants you to grow within yourself. You will never be able to grow if you constantly compare yourself to others, because unfortunately you will always find a virtue in other, which you feel you will never be able to have.
• To be the best is the ultimate goal in life. The truth is- if you are not content before you become the best you will not feel any better with a gold medal in your hand. It's like the small boy who asked his father to play darts with him: "Daddy, I will throw and then you can just stand there and say - Wonderful!" We do so many things in life just to hear others say: "Wonderful!". We are so often motivated by recognition, money and fame. We are taught to live a result driven life. Something can surely not make sense without a clear consequence attached to it. We have to learn to enjoy things that do not have a direct benefit for us. Value the things where we needn't be the best or the brightest, but can only be ourselves.
• We flourish in competitive environments. Maybe it is still part of our survival instinct. Survival or not, we are not happier people once we become competitive. Even those who think they are tough can break beneath the pressures we so often put upon ourselves. When exposed to extended periods of stress there are a few things that are threatened to give in. Our basic physiology becomes deranged. People become ill, they can't sleep, they eat too much or too little, they are tired, suffer from headaches, stomach ulcers just to name a few. Relationships crumble. We don't have time for friends or family. Small things irritate us. Eventually we end up not even knowing who we are anymore. We loose purpose.

An engine running at high revolutions needs more petrol and more frequent maintenance. We cannot always avoid living in the fast lane. The demands of our current day and age simply puts you there, not always by your own choice. During these fast lane times we have to make time to refuel. Take time off to contemplate our maintenance.

Drive carefully. Keep to the speed limit. Stop every few hours to rest. Don't ignore warning signs. Plan the route ahead.

In the end, the journey is more important than the destination.

Jakaranda Tree

We can find strength and comfort in so many things. During one of the most difficult times in my life I was comforted by a Jakaranda tree, full in bloom. It was during a time I felt so alone, walking away from a long relationship.
I drove past the Jakaranda tree every day, a common sight in Pretoria. But this tree was different. It stood alone on a piece of ground, not among many others on the side of the road, as they usually do.

The fact that it was alone did not stand in its way. It was truly an amazing tree. Almost double the size of the other trees, drenched in purple, it was a source of awe for everyone passing by. This tree was embracing the growing space that it was granted. On its own it used its solitude to bloom, grow and bring joy into the lives of others.

Sometimes God also takes us through trials to a solitary piece of ground. A place He has chosen for us, where we can grow freely and become a source of hope, joy and peace to others in our lives.
We do not always understand where God may lead. But when the path takes us to fertile ground, where the Gardener can prune and water us to serve others, then we will understand.

Dreams

" Things don't change. You change your way of looking, that's all."
Carlos Castaneda

Our dreams are influenced and changed by time. As we grow older our priorities, goals and dreams change. Our dreams mingle with experience, wisdom, cynisism, new perspectives. Time might grant us the opportunity to spend more time with long lost dreams - to rediscover them.
Does not matter how we spend our time on dream development, it is important to keep our minds fertile, always cultivating new dream seeds.

Years ago me and Mario drew inspiration from a couple. We met them while on holiday by the sea. Beside the fire in the evenings they came to share with us their plans and dreams for the future. Being very young, energetic and positive about our future together we already accumulated quite a few dreams for our future together. Some of those dreams seemed so unrealistically far away, we sometimes felt that we would never have the time to get to them all. Listening to this couple describing their dream to build the retirement home of their dreams, on their farm beside the Vaal River, similar to the house in the movie - The Golden Pond, inspired me to live by the philosophy that we may never grow too old to dream.
We will only be old once, regret has taken the place of our dreams.

With time our dreams will change, to fall into the scope of our physical abilities and spiritual season of growth, but our age may never be an excuse not to dream.

• Many dreams have subdivisions. The dream is not and end in itself. One dream might through its fulfillment generate the power to put another dream within reach. Dreams pave the way for each other.

• When one dream comes true there will always be the danger that the things which gave us joy previously are not big enough to sustain us. It is as if the new dream, now a reality has heightened our standards. Remember, with every achievement, with every success you have to force yourself to stay on ground level. Always draw your joy and peace from God, the only eternal sustainable source of satisfaction. Distance yourself from your dreams that became reality, it may never become that which sustains you.

• With every dream comes a sacrifice and risk. Working towards the fulfillment of your dreams mean to rise, to fly above everyday obstacles and challenges. You won't be able to fly with heavy baggage attached to you. We have to leave some things behind. Many people have given up their dreams, because they feel more comfortable on ground level surrounded by their baggage. Its a choice between security vs uncertainty. You have to weigh up the price. Choose well my friend.

• Believe in your dreams. If you are sure that those dreams are within God's will for your life they will come true. God will put your patience and faith to the test. But once He is sure that you are worthy of this dream He has planted within you, He will give it to you. For years I have walked around with a picture in my head of the perfect man for me. Through the years the image changes a little, but the basic characterisitics stayed the same. I believed in this dream, but as the years passed by I started to doubt the existence of such a man. Just before I gave up on the dream, he arrived. He is not perfect, our relationship is a work in progress. But I can hang in there, I can give everything, I can enjoy even the hard times all because I did not forsake me dream and it did not forsake me.

• Dreams are influenced by the people we come in contact with. People introduce us to realms previously unknown to us. We can't dream if we don't have something to dream about. Through other people we are enriched, our dreams become weaved around the ones we love and respect. God use people to encourage us to take the risks needed to make our dreams reality. Most of us will know of someone, if not ourselves, who would not have been able to be who they are if it wasn't for the continous support of someone else. Our dreams are shaped those around us.

We might be walking around with skeleton dreams, those dreams where the end is written, but the route to get there is unclear. Those dreams need the muscle of direction to bring them alive. God will use people in your life to become like a honeyguide, showing you the route to Canaan. It will still be your dream, you will still need to take the risks, but don't be afraid to take guidance from others.

Everyone who have had a the privilege of tasting the honey of a dream come true, have an obligation. Use your experience to become a honey guide in the dreams of other people. Use you influence, your faith, your wisdom to help others make their dreams come true. That in itself will be a dream fulfilled.

Stilte

Vir baie lank kon ek nie skryf nie. Dis nie dat ek nie probeer het nie - ek was opsoek na stories, maar selfs met 'n idee in my agterkop wou die woorde nie kom nie.

Tot ek op 'n dag uit pure frutstrasie aan 'n gebrek na iets om the luister, die karradio afgesit het. Toe die stilte my tref was my eerste instink om die radio weer aan te sit. Ek moes vir 'n paar minute veg teen die instinktiewe drang om die leë spasie te vul met klank.

Hoekom is ons so bang vir stilte? Elke oomblik van die dag wil ons gesus word met die wete dat ons nie alleen op aarde is nie - ons wil hoor van ander se ellende op die nuus, saam sing op die maat van die nuutste Highveld Stereo treffer. Ons klou aan ons selfone, praat asof ons nooit weer gehoor sal word nie.

Hoekom is mens ongemaklik wanneer jy alleen is met net jou eie gedagtes as agtergrondmusiek?

Want ons ken onsself nie meer nie. En hoe kan jy gemaklik wees in iemand se geselskap wie jy nie ken nie. Dit vat tyd om iemand te leerken. Die proses is soms langsaam en pynlik, sonder enige waarborge. Wie weet - jy mag dalk dinge omtrent jouself uitvind wat jy nooit geweet het nie, of nie kans sien om in die gesig te staar nie.

Maar ons bly jaag na doelwitte, wat uiteindelik wanneer ons terugkyk oor ons lewens betekenisloos was, omdat ons nooit stil geword het en tyd gemaak het om onsself in ons eie belsuite te ken nie.

Ek kon vir baie lank nie skryf nie, want hoe kan ek skryf wanneer ek my eie stem nie meer hoor nie?

Moenie bang wees vir stilte nie - omarm dit, proe dit, ruik dit, kyk dit vol in die oë. Jy mag dalk net jouself in oomblikke van stilte raakloop.