How do you tell your husband that you are expecting his baby? I have always wondered how it would happen and how I would tell him. As I was standing with my second positive pregnancy test in my hands, I realised a few things: first of all this is definitely not news I can give him telephonically, secondly I have to give it to him tonight and thirdly I need to call in someone’s help…
During a trip to London a few weeks before I came across a Gruffalo soft toy, which stole my heart. There and then I decided that this will be the messenger of good news, should I ever find out I am pregnant. Little did I know how soon that day would come. As Mario was still called out I had some time. I wrapped Gruffalo, with the positive pregnancy test firmly between his legs. Surely that would make the message loud and clear.
Obviously by now I was so excited that even if I wanted to sleep I would not be able to. I waited – hoping that every movement outside would be my husband coming home. I waited a while. Around 1am that morning he came back – very surprised to find me wide awake in bed.
The little gift baffled him initially. He was not sure why I would want to give him a gift from the UK 3 weeks after I returned and that in the middle of the night. Initially he did not see the little piece of undeniable evidence, but Gruffalo quickly pointed to the reason for his surprise arrival.
After that we could not sleep anyway. We chatted for hours about this gigantic change in our lives, our hopes, our fears and overall this undeserved miracle that was unfolding in our lives.
Needless to say – this little pea of life got the name Gruffalo, that is until we will come up with the real name. So welcome little Gruffalo.
Next: A Second confirmation
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Pregnancy series: It must be heartburn
Once you have left the world of contraception behind, you always have in the back of your mind the possibility that you might be pregnant. Therefore, each month at the end of a cycle you wait for the confirmation that for some comes as a relief and a disappointment for others. I did not have the privilege of knowing. My cyclical behaviour after discontinuation of all preventative methods was not regular to say the least. Thus, I was almost living in the dark.
Despite this, we had the confirmation from the gynaecologist that anatomically everything looked good, so we took the road of patient waiting, not expecting any action too soon.
But most ladies who have been pregnant will know – it comes at a time when you least expect it!
Yes, it was the same with me. There were a few times when I was convinced I was pregnant, actually many times. For that reason I went and bought a box of pregnancy tests, but every time the test result was negative.
Everything started during a business trip to Mauritius. It was a good week. I can’t deny it – I enjoyed a glass of wine, even a cocktail every now and then (after working hours in case you wondered). Half way through the week I noticed a few things: first of all I could not get out of bed in the morning to do my usual hotel gym session. I tried to explain the phenomenon – must be the humidity and the busy days (must say the Mauritians have a heart of gold, and my work colleagues made sure I saw every inch of the island after work). And then I had the most horrible heartburn and indigestion. I initially thought it was the spicy food, so I cut down on that, but it did not matter what I ate, it just got worse.
I must say, by the end of the week I was actually relieved to go back to my normal routine and food choices. Little did I know that nothing would ever be the same again…
The Friday night after I landed and my husband dropped me off at home (he left again, because he was on duty), I immediately dived into the medicine cupboard and took an antacid tablet. Only after I took the antacid, the thought came to me to maybe do the pregnancy test again.
I did and waited. First one line appeared and then… another. I double checked, yes this means I am pregnant. First reaction, denial… I re-did the test, the same result.
What are the first emotions and thoughts that go through your mind? For a moment everything inside me froze. It was almost as if my whole inner being was re-set – my mind, my body everything in me responded to this positive test. Yes, I was very happy and excited, but it is almost as if you don’t want to get excited before someone else knows about your joy. So, next mission – Mario must get the news.
Next: Calling in the help of Gruffalo
Despite this, we had the confirmation from the gynaecologist that anatomically everything looked good, so we took the road of patient waiting, not expecting any action too soon.
But most ladies who have been pregnant will know – it comes at a time when you least expect it!
Yes, it was the same with me. There were a few times when I was convinced I was pregnant, actually many times. For that reason I went and bought a box of pregnancy tests, but every time the test result was negative.
Everything started during a business trip to Mauritius. It was a good week. I can’t deny it – I enjoyed a glass of wine, even a cocktail every now and then (after working hours in case you wondered). Half way through the week I noticed a few things: first of all I could not get out of bed in the morning to do my usual hotel gym session. I tried to explain the phenomenon – must be the humidity and the busy days (must say the Mauritians have a heart of gold, and my work colleagues made sure I saw every inch of the island after work). And then I had the most horrible heartburn and indigestion. I initially thought it was the spicy food, so I cut down on that, but it did not matter what I ate, it just got worse.
I must say, by the end of the week I was actually relieved to go back to my normal routine and food choices. Little did I know that nothing would ever be the same again…
The Friday night after I landed and my husband dropped me off at home (he left again, because he was on duty), I immediately dived into the medicine cupboard and took an antacid tablet. Only after I took the antacid, the thought came to me to maybe do the pregnancy test again.
I did and waited. First one line appeared and then… another. I double checked, yes this means I am pregnant. First reaction, denial… I re-did the test, the same result.
What are the first emotions and thoughts that go through your mind? For a moment everything inside me froze. It was almost as if my whole inner being was re-set – my mind, my body everything in me responded to this positive test. Yes, I was very happy and excited, but it is almost as if you don’t want to get excited before someone else knows about your joy. So, next mission – Mario must get the news.
Next: Calling in the help of Gruffalo
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Pregnancy series: The Decision
Many women fantasize about the day when the reason for the missed monthly period is not stress, but the prospect of a new life developing inside of them.
I might sound very career-driven, selfish or maybe both, but I never fantasized about that. I never dreamed and desired a child of my own. Don’t understand me wrong – I love children and I always knew that I would love to have a child of my own, but it was knowledge, not a fantasy. Maybe that is what 6 years of study and a few rotations through paediatrics does to you. I only came in contact with ill, dirty, screaming and malnourished babies.
So, not surprisingly, it took me much longer than the average female homo sapient, to finally make the decision that I will not prevent Mother Nature to take her course.
So in November last year, much to my husband’s surprise and joy (most probably relief as well) I told him that we can move into a new direction. That small step alone changed my life. Suddenly I became aware of another potential ability I as a female human being had within me. With that came questions: what if we struggle to fall pregnant, do we tell anybody we are trying, what if, what if…?
We decided to keep the fact that we are trying a secret. We would not lie if asked directly, but vague answers like: “We are not doing anything actively to prevent it anymore. “We hoped would keep everyone satisfied. Our main motivation for doing it in secret like very naughty school children, was to give ourselves some breathing (if you can call it that) space. We wanted to keep the pressure off.
So apart from the fact that I made a visit to the gynaecologist (I had to find a gynae before I became pregnant), we upgraded on our medical aid and I did not buy any contraception anymore (yippee R80 a month more to spend) our lives went on as usual.
They gynaecologist did warn that my cycles are quite irregular – that means that we could not really time the whole act of conception. Must say that took the pressure off completely, because in my mind I did not think that I would fall pregnant very fast.
Famous last words….
Next: It must be heartburn.
I might sound very career-driven, selfish or maybe both, but I never fantasized about that. I never dreamed and desired a child of my own. Don’t understand me wrong – I love children and I always knew that I would love to have a child of my own, but it was knowledge, not a fantasy. Maybe that is what 6 years of study and a few rotations through paediatrics does to you. I only came in contact with ill, dirty, screaming and malnourished babies.
So, not surprisingly, it took me much longer than the average female homo sapient, to finally make the decision that I will not prevent Mother Nature to take her course.
So in November last year, much to my husband’s surprise and joy (most probably relief as well) I told him that we can move into a new direction. That small step alone changed my life. Suddenly I became aware of another potential ability I as a female human being had within me. With that came questions: what if we struggle to fall pregnant, do we tell anybody we are trying, what if, what if…?
We decided to keep the fact that we are trying a secret. We would not lie if asked directly, but vague answers like: “We are not doing anything actively to prevent it anymore. “We hoped would keep everyone satisfied. Our main motivation for doing it in secret like very naughty school children, was to give ourselves some breathing (if you can call it that) space. We wanted to keep the pressure off.
So apart from the fact that I made a visit to the gynaecologist (I had to find a gynae before I became pregnant), we upgraded on our medical aid and I did not buy any contraception anymore (yippee R80 a month more to spend) our lives went on as usual.
They gynaecologist did warn that my cycles are quite irregular – that means that we could not really time the whole act of conception. Must say that took the pressure off completely, because in my mind I did not think that I would fall pregnant very fast.
Famous last words….
Next: It must be heartburn.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Pregnancy series: Finding a topic...
Any writer will know that finding a topic to write on is sometimes the hardest part of writing any piece. There are so many things you have to keep in mind: your audience, your experience and knowledge on the topic, will it be interesting?
I am facing the same situation. I would like to write about things that interest me and my audience. I had a long and deep thought about it. Initially I did not want to write about something too ordinary. I do not think you want to hear about me getting up every morning, going to gym (or not), sitting in an air conditioned office until 5 and going home to cook dinner. But on the other hand, it is the ordinary things that we can identify with.
I am currently reading a book by Neil Pasricha – The book of Awesome. He lists all the things that make life an awesome experience. Everything in there are ordinary, small events or things, which cost nothing but still provides us with pleasure and makes life worth living. So, yes I was convinced that it is indeed more worthwhile to write about the small things in life which we enjoy.
I especially like his mention of things like: finding an open parking space in front of the shop and the smell of rain on dry ground.
After this revelation I made the decision to take you on a journey through all my pregnancy experiences up to date. A whole 28 weeks of it. Maybe around 21, if you keep in mind I only found out I was pregnant around 7 weeks. I hope that those who have had the privilege to be pregnant it will serve as a pleasant memory of a very special time in their lives. For those who have not been down this road yet, may it not be scaring you off.
Just enjoy the journey with me. The journey of becoming a mother.
Next: The Decision
I am facing the same situation. I would like to write about things that interest me and my audience. I had a long and deep thought about it. Initially I did not want to write about something too ordinary. I do not think you want to hear about me getting up every morning, going to gym (or not), sitting in an air conditioned office until 5 and going home to cook dinner. But on the other hand, it is the ordinary things that we can identify with.
I am currently reading a book by Neil Pasricha – The book of Awesome. He lists all the things that make life an awesome experience. Everything in there are ordinary, small events or things, which cost nothing but still provides us with pleasure and makes life worth living. So, yes I was convinced that it is indeed more worthwhile to write about the small things in life which we enjoy.
I especially like his mention of things like: finding an open parking space in front of the shop and the smell of rain on dry ground.
After this revelation I made the decision to take you on a journey through all my pregnancy experiences up to date. A whole 28 weeks of it. Maybe around 21, if you keep in mind I only found out I was pregnant around 7 weeks. I hope that those who have had the privilege to be pregnant it will serve as a pleasant memory of a very special time in their lives. For those who have not been down this road yet, may it not be scaring you off.
Just enjoy the journey with me. The journey of becoming a mother.
Next: The Decision
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Book list
A few people have asked me to please put the list of some of my favourite books onto my blog, so finally here it is.
I will update it as we go along.
Albom, Mitch - Tuesdays with Morrie (Non-fiction)
Amirrezvani, A - The blood of flowers (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - A quiver full of arrows (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - Kain and Abel (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - Prodigal daughter (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - Twelve red herrings (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - To cut a long story short (Fiction)
Arhcer, Jeffrey - A twist in the tale (Fiction)
Armstrong, Lance - It's not about the bike (Biography)
Austen, Jane - Pride and prejudice (Fiction)
Barber, Hilton - Postcards from the ledge (Travel)
Branson, Richard - Loosing my virginity (Biography)
Bronte, Emily - Wuthering heights (Fiction)
Brown, Christie - My left foot (Biography)
Brown, Dan - Angels and Demons (Fiction)
Brown, Dan - The Da Vinci Code (Fiction)
Brown, Dan - Deception point (Fiction)
Bryson, Bill - Down under (Travel)
Buckingham, Marcus - The one thing you need to know… (Psychology)
Canfield, J - Chicken soup for the soul 2 (Psychology)
Carroll, Lewis - Alice in Wonderland (Fiction)
Coelho, Paulo - The alchemist (Fiction)
Colbert, Don - Deadly emotions (Psychology)
Cook, Robert - Brain (Fiction)
Cornwell, Patricia - Potrait of a killer Historiese (Fiction)
Covey, Stephen - 7 Habits of highly effective people (Psychology)
Dahl, Roald - Over to you (Fiction)
Dahl, Roald - Roald Dahl Omnibus (Fiction)
Davies, Martin - The conjurer's bird (Fiction)
De Villiers, IL - Te vroeg vir moedverloor (Psychology)
De Villiers, IL- Klein geskenk van geloof (Psychology)
De Villiers, IL - Die geluk van onsin (Psychology)
De Villiers, IL- Die koningin se voetkombersie (Psychology)
Dicey, William - Borderline (Non-fiction)
Eldrige John - Captivating (Christian)
Eldridge, John - Desire (Christian)
Exupery, Antoine De Saint - The little prince (Fiction)
Fosnes, Erik - Psalm at journey's end (Fiction)
Frank, Catherine - A chainles soul - Emily Bronte (Biography)
Frankl, Victor - Man's search for meaning (Psychology)
Frey, James - A million little pieces (Biography)
Fynn - Mister God, this is Anna (Fiction)
George, Margaret - Memoirs of Cleopatra (Historical Fiction)
Gibran, Kahlil - The prophet (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - Blink (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - The tipping point (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - Outliers (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - What the dog saw (Psychology)
Grogan, John - Marley and me (Non-fiction)
Haddon, Mark - The curious incident of the dog in the night time (Fiction)
Harris, Joanne - Holy Fools (Fiction)
Helfgott, Gillian - Love you to bits and pieces (Biography)
Horwood, William - Toad triumphant (Fiction)
Horwood, William - Callanah (Fiction)
Hudson, JF - Die koning se vertroueling (Fiction)
Hunt, John- The art of the idea (Psychology)
Irving, Washington - Tales from the Alhambra (Historical)
Jackson, Marni - Pain (Psychology)
Janson, Murray - Opsoek na die ware Jesus (Christian)
Johnson, Barbara - I'm so glad you told me (Psychology)
Johnson, Barbara - Stick a geranium in you hat and be happy (Psychology)
Kingsolver, Barbara - The poisonwood Bible (Fiction)
Le Roux, A - Juweeltjies vir 'n vriending (Pscychology)
Lee, Harper - To kill a mocking bird (Fiction)
Lewis, CS - The screwtape letters (Christian)
Lewis, CS - Chronicles of Narnia (Fiction)
Lindqurst, Ulla-Carin - Rowing without oars (Non-fiction)
Lovell, Moira - Departures (Fiction)
Luard, Nicholas - The last wilderness (Fiction)
Maartens, Maretha - Ruitevrou (Fiction)
Martin, Henno - Sheltering desert (Non-fiction)
Masood, Steven - Into the light (Fiction)
Matthee, Daleen - Moerbeibos (Fiction)
Matthee, Daleen - Brug van die esels (Fiction)
McCann, Richard - Just a boy (Non-fiction)
McCourt, Frank - Angela's Ashes (Historical Fiction)
McCourt, Frank - Tis (Historical Fiction)
Mittner, Esme - Tussen die vloer en die politoer (Psychology)
Nel, Henrietta - Stories met stekies (Psychology)
Peale, Norman Vincent - The power of positive thinking (Christian)
Peck, Scott M- In search of stones (Psychology)
Peck, Scott M - The road less traveled (Psychology)
Roberts, Gregory David - Shantaram (Non-fiction)
Rushdie, S - The enchantress of Florence (Fiction)
Sasson, Jean - Mayada (Fiction)
Sasson, Jean - Princess (Fiction)
Shakespeare, William - Twelth Night (Fiction)
Sherill, Elizabeth - All the way to heaven (Christian)
Siegel, Bernie - Love, medicine and miracles (Medical psychology)
Soueit, Ahdaf - A map of love (Fiction)
Steyn, Esta - Die grafte jubel (Fiction)
Suraowecki, J - The wisdom of crowds (Psychology)
Thum, Marianne - I have life (Non-fiction)
Tolken, JRR - Lord of the Rings (Fiction)
Tolken, JRR - The Hobbit (Fiction)
Van der Merwe, Arien - Stres strategie (Medical)
Van Deventer, H - n Vriend vir altyd (honderde hondestories) (Fiction)
Van Schalkwyk, Johan - Salomo (Christian)
Wilkinson, DM - The prayer of Jabez, for women (Christian)
Wurmbrand, Richard - Ondergronds vir God (Christian)
Yen - Falling leaves (Fiction)
I will update it as we go along.
Albom, Mitch - Tuesdays with Morrie (Non-fiction)
Amirrezvani, A - The blood of flowers (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - A quiver full of arrows (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - Kain and Abel (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - Prodigal daughter (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - Twelve red herrings (Fiction)
Archer, Jeffrey - To cut a long story short (Fiction)
Arhcer, Jeffrey - A twist in the tale (Fiction)
Armstrong, Lance - It's not about the bike (Biography)
Austen, Jane - Pride and prejudice (Fiction)
Barber, Hilton - Postcards from the ledge (Travel)
Branson, Richard - Loosing my virginity (Biography)
Bronte, Emily - Wuthering heights (Fiction)
Brown, Christie - My left foot (Biography)
Brown, Dan - Angels and Demons (Fiction)
Brown, Dan - The Da Vinci Code (Fiction)
Brown, Dan - Deception point (Fiction)
Bryson, Bill - Down under (Travel)
Buckingham, Marcus - The one thing you need to know… (Psychology)
Canfield, J - Chicken soup for the soul 2 (Psychology)
Carroll, Lewis - Alice in Wonderland (Fiction)
Coelho, Paulo - The alchemist (Fiction)
Colbert, Don - Deadly emotions (Psychology)
Cook, Robert - Brain (Fiction)
Cornwell, Patricia - Potrait of a killer Historiese (Fiction)
Covey, Stephen - 7 Habits of highly effective people (Psychology)
Dahl, Roald - Over to you (Fiction)
Dahl, Roald - Roald Dahl Omnibus (Fiction)
Davies, Martin - The conjurer's bird (Fiction)
De Villiers, IL - Te vroeg vir moedverloor (Psychology)
De Villiers, IL- Klein geskenk van geloof (Psychology)
De Villiers, IL - Die geluk van onsin (Psychology)
De Villiers, IL- Die koningin se voetkombersie (Psychology)
Dicey, William - Borderline (Non-fiction)
Eldrige John - Captivating (Christian)
Eldridge, John - Desire (Christian)
Exupery, Antoine De Saint - The little prince (Fiction)
Fosnes, Erik - Psalm at journey's end (Fiction)
Frank, Catherine - A chainles soul - Emily Bronte (Biography)
Frankl, Victor - Man's search for meaning (Psychology)
Frey, James - A million little pieces (Biography)
Fynn - Mister God, this is Anna (Fiction)
George, Margaret - Memoirs of Cleopatra (Historical Fiction)
Gibran, Kahlil - The prophet (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - Blink (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - The tipping point (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - Outliers (Psychology)
Gladwell, Malcolm - What the dog saw (Psychology)
Grogan, John - Marley and me (Non-fiction)
Haddon, Mark - The curious incident of the dog in the night time (Fiction)
Harris, Joanne - Holy Fools (Fiction)
Helfgott, Gillian - Love you to bits and pieces (Biography)
Horwood, William - Toad triumphant (Fiction)
Horwood, William - Callanah (Fiction)
Hudson, JF - Die koning se vertroueling (Fiction)
Hunt, John- The art of the idea (Psychology)
Irving, Washington - Tales from the Alhambra (Historical)
Jackson, Marni - Pain (Psychology)
Janson, Murray - Opsoek na die ware Jesus (Christian)
Johnson, Barbara - I'm so glad you told me (Psychology)
Johnson, Barbara - Stick a geranium in you hat and be happy (Psychology)
Kingsolver, Barbara - The poisonwood Bible (Fiction)
Le Roux, A - Juweeltjies vir 'n vriending (Pscychology)
Lee, Harper - To kill a mocking bird (Fiction)
Lewis, CS - The screwtape letters (Christian)
Lewis, CS - Chronicles of Narnia (Fiction)
Lindqurst, Ulla-Carin - Rowing without oars (Non-fiction)
Lovell, Moira - Departures (Fiction)
Luard, Nicholas - The last wilderness (Fiction)
Maartens, Maretha - Ruitevrou (Fiction)
Martin, Henno - Sheltering desert (Non-fiction)
Masood, Steven - Into the light (Fiction)
Matthee, Daleen - Moerbeibos (Fiction)
Matthee, Daleen - Brug van die esels (Fiction)
McCann, Richard - Just a boy (Non-fiction)
McCourt, Frank - Angela's Ashes (Historical Fiction)
McCourt, Frank - Tis (Historical Fiction)
Mittner, Esme - Tussen die vloer en die politoer (Psychology)
Nel, Henrietta - Stories met stekies (Psychology)
Peale, Norman Vincent - The power of positive thinking (Christian)
Peck, Scott M- In search of stones (Psychology)
Peck, Scott M - The road less traveled (Psychology)
Roberts, Gregory David - Shantaram (Non-fiction)
Rushdie, S - The enchantress of Florence (Fiction)
Sasson, Jean - Mayada (Fiction)
Sasson, Jean - Princess (Fiction)
Shakespeare, William - Twelth Night (Fiction)
Sherill, Elizabeth - All the way to heaven (Christian)
Siegel, Bernie - Love, medicine and miracles (Medical psychology)
Soueit, Ahdaf - A map of love (Fiction)
Steyn, Esta - Die grafte jubel (Fiction)
Suraowecki, J - The wisdom of crowds (Psychology)
Thum, Marianne - I have life (Non-fiction)
Tolken, JRR - Lord of the Rings (Fiction)
Tolken, JRR - The Hobbit (Fiction)
Van der Merwe, Arien - Stres strategie (Medical)
Van Deventer, H - n Vriend vir altyd (honderde hondestories) (Fiction)
Van Schalkwyk, Johan - Salomo (Christian)
Wilkinson, DM - The prayer of Jabez, for women (Christian)
Wurmbrand, Richard - Ondergronds vir God (Christian)
Yen - Falling leaves (Fiction)
Monday, November 7, 2011
Conservation
Definition:
Preservation or restoration from loss, damage, or neglect
We all know what conservation means. There are so many organisations devoted to the cause of conservation, each of them with a different target from rhinos to insects. Overall the act of conservation is a positive one, the aim is noble – to protect and preserve that which is valuable.
But what are the pre-requisites to conservation? First of all the object we would like to conserve must not be extinct. It is too late to start a conservation project for the Dodo – once the object of conservation has vanished, no money or action will be able to bring it back.
Secondly, that which we would like to conserve needs to be precious and valuable. I have not come across a weed conservation program. Weeds are simply not useful to use, we do not see any value in it.
Thirdly, it must be a scarce resource. Conservation efforts usually aim at the things which are not found in abundance. Driving through the Kruger National Park one comes across efforts to protect rhinos, wild dogs, cheetahs, ground hornbills – to name a few. The impala though does not fall into that category – understandably, because you find them behind every bush.
Looking at these pre-requisites I realised that there are many people and things in my own life which needs conservation. Take the precious relationships in my life for example. Any relationship meets all three pre-requisites needed for conservations. A relationship exists willingly, but can become extinct. We all have precious relationships and every relationship being a unique interaction between two people is a scarce resource. Thus, every relationship needs constant conservation.
Conservation of relationships can come in many formats. It comes through quality time spent with the person, through prayer for the relationship, through listening, being there for the other person.
We sometimes only realise too late that we should have conserved the things that are precious to us.
It is so easy to focus on the impalas around us – those things that are in abundance, requires our attention, but is not going to change our lives.
The trick is to spot the leopards and the rhinos in our lives, and work actively every day to keep them alive.
So, get those binoculars out. Re-evaluate your life and find out what is truly important and needs to conservation efforts.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Swangerskap
Ek is pynlik bewus dat ek tot op hede nog geen woord op die blog gerep het oor die swangerskapservaring nie.
Vele redes: ek wil nie graag die blog oor my en my doen en late maak nie. Hierdie bly ‘n platform van inspirasie en lewenskommentaar. Meeste vroue wat al swanger was weet dat swangerskap nie heeltyd ‘n inspirerende ervaring is nie. Altans so tussendeur die mislikheid en gedurende die paar ure in my eerste trimester wat ek nie moeg was nie, het dit beslis nie gevoel asof ek gemaak was vir die swangerskapsaksie nie.
Maar, dit sal ook verbygaan. En nou dat ek al soos die wyses van ouds gesê het: “Vêr heen is….” En beslis nie meer die swangerskapservaring kan wegsteek nie (eenvoudig omdat die boepie huidiglik my mees opsigtelike bate is), het ek die moed bymekaargeskraap om my ervaring te deel.
Dit bly ‘n voorreg. Die eerste gedagte toe ek die urine doopstokkie met die twee strepies sien was om dit te herhaal. Sjoe, dit kan nie waar wees nie. ‘n Mens kan nie die gevoel vir iemand beskryf tot jy dit beleef het nie. Jy weet dat daar paartjies is wat jare bid, baie geld uithaal vir infertiliteitsbehandeling en soms steeds na jare met ‘n groot leemte in hulle lewe moet saamleef. Hier is ons, swanger selfs gouer as wat ons gedink het dit sou gebeur.
Dit is oorweldigend. Ek was nog nooit ‘n ma nie. Daar is hopeloos te veel swangerskapsboeke geskryf wat raad gee van om ‘n poefdoek om te ruil tot ‘n band te smee terwyl kleinding nog in die baarmoeder is. ‘n Vriendin se geleende boek: “How not to be a perfect mother.” het tot my redding gekom. Ek is nie perfek nie, ek hoef ook nie te wees nie en niemand anders gaan hierdie lewetjie se ma kan wees nie. Niemand anders ken hierdie dingetjie so goed soos ek nie. So vir eers sal ons maar ontspan – tot daardie eerste poefdoek….
Vir die eerste keer in my lewe offer ek my liggaam vrywilliglik op vir die voortbestaan van ‘n ander wese. Sjoe, ‘n mens moet nie te veel hieroor dink nie. Maar wanneer die klere nie meer pas nie (veral nie die bras nie), rekmerke, spatare en sooibrand ‘n werklikheid word (gelukkig het ek nog nie die eerste twee nie, ons smeer maar die Happy Event en hou by baie vesel….) besef jy terdee dat swangerskap teen ‘n prys kom. Ek is bevoorreg – ek het ‘n man was glo ek is die sexyste swanger vrou wat al ooit die aardbol bewoon het (dankie My Liefie, jy is my redding) – veral op dae wat die skaal al swaarder trek en jy wonder of jy ooit weer in daardie nou swart nommertjie in die kas sal pas (jammer dat mens dit nou gekoop het net voor jy uitgevind het jy is swanger).
Dit is ‘n sosiale ervaring. Dit is ongelooflik hoe vrymoedig mense is wanneer jy swanger is. Vreemde tannies op straat knoop gesprekke aan. Mense by die werk , wie se name ek skaars ken, stel eweskielik in my doen en late belang. Almal deel raad uit – weliswaar is sommige raad meer vermaaklik as bruikbaar, maar dit is wonderlik om oornag deel van ‘n die vroulike ervaring van moederskap te word.
Vir die eerste keer maak jy iemand anders se presente oop, sonder om vir ‘n oomblik skuldig daaroor te voel. En al gaan jy dit glad nie self gebruik nie, weet jy ten minste dat jy dit baie bruikbaar sal vind.
Daar is nog so baie wat wag. Van hier af is dit beplanning. Een ding is seker – nooit weer sal my of Mario se lewens ooit weer dieselfde wees nie.
So in ‘n neutedop: ‘n lewensveranderende, liggaamsveranderende ervaring!
Vele redes: ek wil nie graag die blog oor my en my doen en late maak nie. Hierdie bly ‘n platform van inspirasie en lewenskommentaar. Meeste vroue wat al swanger was weet dat swangerskap nie heeltyd ‘n inspirerende ervaring is nie. Altans so tussendeur die mislikheid en gedurende die paar ure in my eerste trimester wat ek nie moeg was nie, het dit beslis nie gevoel asof ek gemaak was vir die swangerskapsaksie nie.
Maar, dit sal ook verbygaan. En nou dat ek al soos die wyses van ouds gesê het: “Vêr heen is….” En beslis nie meer die swangerskapservaring kan wegsteek nie (eenvoudig omdat die boepie huidiglik my mees opsigtelike bate is), het ek die moed bymekaargeskraap om my ervaring te deel.
Dit bly ‘n voorreg. Die eerste gedagte toe ek die urine doopstokkie met die twee strepies sien was om dit te herhaal. Sjoe, dit kan nie waar wees nie. ‘n Mens kan nie die gevoel vir iemand beskryf tot jy dit beleef het nie. Jy weet dat daar paartjies is wat jare bid, baie geld uithaal vir infertiliteitsbehandeling en soms steeds na jare met ‘n groot leemte in hulle lewe moet saamleef. Hier is ons, swanger selfs gouer as wat ons gedink het dit sou gebeur.
Dit is oorweldigend. Ek was nog nooit ‘n ma nie. Daar is hopeloos te veel swangerskapsboeke geskryf wat raad gee van om ‘n poefdoek om te ruil tot ‘n band te smee terwyl kleinding nog in die baarmoeder is. ‘n Vriendin se geleende boek: “How not to be a perfect mother.” het tot my redding gekom. Ek is nie perfek nie, ek hoef ook nie te wees nie en niemand anders gaan hierdie lewetjie se ma kan wees nie. Niemand anders ken hierdie dingetjie so goed soos ek nie. So vir eers sal ons maar ontspan – tot daardie eerste poefdoek….
Vir die eerste keer in my lewe offer ek my liggaam vrywilliglik op vir die voortbestaan van ‘n ander wese. Sjoe, ‘n mens moet nie te veel hieroor dink nie. Maar wanneer die klere nie meer pas nie (veral nie die bras nie), rekmerke, spatare en sooibrand ‘n werklikheid word (gelukkig het ek nog nie die eerste twee nie, ons smeer maar die Happy Event en hou by baie vesel….) besef jy terdee dat swangerskap teen ‘n prys kom. Ek is bevoorreg – ek het ‘n man was glo ek is die sexyste swanger vrou wat al ooit die aardbol bewoon het (dankie My Liefie, jy is my redding) – veral op dae wat die skaal al swaarder trek en jy wonder of jy ooit weer in daardie nou swart nommertjie in die kas sal pas (jammer dat mens dit nou gekoop het net voor jy uitgevind het jy is swanger).
Dit is ‘n sosiale ervaring. Dit is ongelooflik hoe vrymoedig mense is wanneer jy swanger is. Vreemde tannies op straat knoop gesprekke aan. Mense by die werk , wie se name ek skaars ken, stel eweskielik in my doen en late belang. Almal deel raad uit – weliswaar is sommige raad meer vermaaklik as bruikbaar, maar dit is wonderlik om oornag deel van ‘n die vroulike ervaring van moederskap te word.
Vir die eerste keer maak jy iemand anders se presente oop, sonder om vir ‘n oomblik skuldig daaroor te voel. En al gaan jy dit glad nie self gebruik nie, weet jy ten minste dat jy dit baie bruikbaar sal vind.
Daar is nog so baie wat wag. Van hier af is dit beplanning. Een ding is seker – nooit weer sal my of Mario se lewens ooit weer dieselfde wees nie.
So in ‘n neutedop: ‘n lewensveranderende, liggaamsveranderende ervaring!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Needs
We are now entering the end of the year: the Festive season, Christmas time, a time for giving. And we all try to give, to different people and for different reasons. We sometimes give out of obligation, hopefully because we find joy in giving, does not matter the reason, we mostly find ourselves quite bankrupt at the end of December.
There are many charity organisations. They all try their best to help people both with needs and those in need. One very noble effort has focussed on the distribution of malaria nets into Africa. I am sure with such a huge effort there is also an educational leg attached to the distribution, explaining the use of such a life saving device. I do not doubt that malaria net distribution is making an impact on the incidence of malaria deaths, but I found it very ironic when I saw a picture of women, somewhere in Mid-Africa, who have received a malaria net. They did use the net, but not what it was intended for. They used the net to catch fish with.
Immediately my reaction was that of disgust. How could these people be so unthankful? But then I realised that it was a question of needs. They have been living with the fear and threat of malaria all their lives, they are used to it, it might or might not kill them. But if they do not have food on the table tonight, they will not survive and most probably will not have the immunity to fight against other diseases either.
So often we base the content of what is appropriate to give to others on our own perceptions and statistics. We hear that malaria is one of the most deadly diseases in Africa, so it makes sense; we have to find a way to prevent this.
But the people who are the victims do not read the statistics. They have to live in the Africa which we have analysed statistically. Should we have asked them, they most probably would have told us that they are hungry, and would be able to feed themselves if only they had a way to catch a fish.
Now during the time of giving, I think it is more important than ever to make sure that we address the needs of other through the way and the content of what we give.
Jesus was such a perfect example of this. He did not only go out to the people around Him and preached the word. Most of the time he also made sure that the people had bread to eat before he told them about the Bread of Life.
God also knew our deepest need. He knew that we were on the path of sin, unable to save ourselves. He therefor sent the perfect gift, the gift addressing our most eternal need – His son Jesus.
Maybe we should strive to also give as thoughtfully, focussing on the true needs of others.
There are many charity organisations. They all try their best to help people both with needs and those in need. One very noble effort has focussed on the distribution of malaria nets into Africa. I am sure with such a huge effort there is also an educational leg attached to the distribution, explaining the use of such a life saving device. I do not doubt that malaria net distribution is making an impact on the incidence of malaria deaths, but I found it very ironic when I saw a picture of women, somewhere in Mid-Africa, who have received a malaria net. They did use the net, but not what it was intended for. They used the net to catch fish with.
Immediately my reaction was that of disgust. How could these people be so unthankful? But then I realised that it was a question of needs. They have been living with the fear and threat of malaria all their lives, they are used to it, it might or might not kill them. But if they do not have food on the table tonight, they will not survive and most probably will not have the immunity to fight against other diseases either.
So often we base the content of what is appropriate to give to others on our own perceptions and statistics. We hear that malaria is one of the most deadly diseases in Africa, so it makes sense; we have to find a way to prevent this.
But the people who are the victims do not read the statistics. They have to live in the Africa which we have analysed statistically. Should we have asked them, they most probably would have told us that they are hungry, and would be able to feed themselves if only they had a way to catch a fish.
Now during the time of giving, I think it is more important than ever to make sure that we address the needs of other through the way and the content of what we give.
Jesus was such a perfect example of this. He did not only go out to the people around Him and preached the word. Most of the time he also made sure that the people had bread to eat before he told them about the Bread of Life.
God also knew our deepest need. He knew that we were on the path of sin, unable to save ourselves. He therefor sent the perfect gift, the gift addressing our most eternal need – His son Jesus.
Maybe we should strive to also give as thoughtfully, focussing on the true needs of others.
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