Pregnancy series: Being sick without being ill...

I guess some woman are lucky, they do not even realise they are pregnant during the first trimester.

My experience was a little different. I had a few constant reminders that my body was changing and preparing itself for a new adventure at a rapid pace.


I personally think that the term morning sickness is a misnomer. I had all day sickness. I woke up nauseous – the only thing that changed was that it got worse during the day and that I just experienced tiredness beyond comprehension as the day went along.


I tried Vomifene, ginger tea – nothing helped, except eating all the time. So I woke up with a banana beside my bed and literally ate my way through the day.


Just to complement the fact that I was not feeling great I also looked like a pimple-faced teenager, while having heartburn of an overweight 50 year old.


I must say, those first few weeks did not make me excited about being pregnant at all, but it was a good reality check. Despite the fact that I was feeling close to death, I never thought once that I did not want this.


It is also amazing to see how many people understand what you are going through, simply because they have all gone through it themselves.


And then amazingly one day you wake up and you start feeling yourself again. You can eat meat again, stomach the smell of coffee and stop eating Marie Biscuits for survival.


I think my biggest fear during those first few weeks was that I would be one of the unlucky people who would be nauseous throughout their whole pregnancy. For the ladies who have experienced that – my deepest sympathy. After all you can only eat Marie Biscuits for so long.

Verwerping

Op ‘n wegbreek naby Hoedspruit het ons die Moholoholo diererehabilitasie-sentrum besoek. Daar is een spesifieke “dieregeval”wat my altyd sal bybly. ‘n Arend wat gesond in sy hok gesit het. Die wildbewaarder het sy tragiese verhaal vir ons vertel. Hy is as kuiken deur ‘ n boer uit die nes geneem en met die hand grootgemaak. Die boer het goed bedoel, want slegs een van die twee kuikens sal oorleef. Die sterkste kuiken skop altyd die swakker een uit die nes. Die uiteinde van hierdie grootmaakproses, was egter dat die arend ‘n menslike bloudruk ontvang het. Die eerste lewende wese wat hy kan onthou is ‘n mens, en daarom glo hy day hy ‘n mens is. Ongelukkig het dit tragiese gevolge. Hy val mense aan, om sy gebied te beskerm, maar bied geen weerstand teen ander arende, wat in die natuur sy eintlik bedreiging is nie.


Uiteindelik moes die arend maar die res van sy lewe in ‘n hok deurbring.


Ek het al dikwels gewonder: wat maak of breek iemand. Hoekom het party mense die vermoë om ten spyte van moeilike omstandighede nogsteeds positief te bly? ‘n Mens kan vele argumente hier rondom aanvoer. Persoonlike keuse, jou geloof en waardestelsel speel natuurlik alles ‘n rol.


Tog het ek gesien dat daar een faktor is wat mense te midde van omstandighede wat buite hulle beheer is kan staande hou en dit is die liefde, ondersteuning en aanvaarding van jou ouers .


‘n Kind wat van kleins af weet en ervaar dat hy die grootste skat in sy ouers se lewe is, wat ten spyte van sy tekortkome nogsteeds ‘n bron van trots en vreugde vir sy ouers is het soveel meer kans om iets in die lewe te bereik.


Niks in hierdie lewe is gewaarborg nie. Dus, kan ‘n mens alles doen: jou kind lief hê, aanvaar en nogsteeds mag hulle eie keuses hulle dalk lei op paaie wat ‘n mens as ouer hulle nie toewens nie, maar met liefde en aanvaarding is hulle kanse net soveel beter.


Die teendeel is ongelukkig ook waar. ‘n Kind wat van kleins af ervaar het dat hy nie goed genoeg is vir sy ouers nie, of altyd met ander broers of susters vir aandag moet kompeteer, se kanse om selfaanvaarding en sukses te bereik is net soveel kleiner. Dit is asof daardie kind permanent moet veg teen die prentjie wat sy ouers van himself in sy kop ingeprent het.


Net soos die arendkuiken sy identiteit ontvang van sy arendouers, met wie hy eerste in kontak was, so word ‘n kind se selfbeeld ook gevorm deur die kontak wat hy met sy ouers het.


‘n Ouer het ‘n reuse verantwoordelikheid – jy het die mag om jou kind te omskep in ‘n trotse arend, wat die vermoë het om die aanslae van hierdie wêreld die hoof te bied, of ‘n halwe mens wat vir die res an sy lewe toegesluit word agter die tralies van wanpersepsie en verwerping.


Dit is uiteindelik wat God gedoen het. Dit is die Kersboodskap. Hy het Jesus uit die hemelse nes geskop en Hom aarde toe gestuur.


Uiteindelik was die bittereste toets wat Jesus moes weerstaan die pyn van verwerping.


Aan die kruis het Hy voor sy dood die bitterste woorde getuiter:


“My God, my God waarom het U my verlaat?”


Dit alles sodat ek en jy elke dag van ons lewens na God ons Vader kan kyk en arendskinders kan word, wat hoër en hoer vlieg.

Pregnancy series: A Second confirmation

After a night of excitement and little sleep we had one mission the next day: a pregnancy blood test. Typical of human nature, we tend to question everything in life. As if two positive urine pregnancy tests were not enough, we decided to give the blood test a go. When the phone call came through to say that I am somewhere between 6-7 weeks pregnant, we knew that we could start planning for a whole new life venture.



I guess one of the first questions is when do we tell family and friends? There certainly goes some planning into this – there is a ranking order of who should know first. It would definitely not be in very good taste if the whole facebook community knows before you have even made a phone call to your parents in law.


Fortunately for us Mario’s birthday was coming up and we had planned a family lunch for that day, so we just seized the opportunity to make that our day of announcement. We figured that none of the future grandparents would smell rat if we have them all together when Mario makes a casual announcement about the little (at that stage it was still literally little) gift to all on his birthday.


Our plan worked very well. I had my first scan the week before the lunch, so I went so far as to make a personalised card from Gruffels to his grandparents, giving them his first picture. Nobody expected anything, but Mario gave a little of it away, when he hesitated and then asked the waiter only to pour me a little bit of wine – that is just not the way my family know me, I usually enjoy my wine…


There are so many things which made that day special. Having my family with me to share in this life changing event, to see their faces, to know that this life you are carrying will have an impact on so many other lives. There are two specific things which I will never forget: the first one is my grandmother’s reaction. She always had a wish to see her great grandchildren, and I know that she has, in the last few years, especially since all her subtle pleas have fallen on deaf ears, buried that dream. At the age of 88 she also realised that she might not be there anymore to witness this event. That made her reaction so special: “I prayed to God, that he must come and take me, as I had a good life, but now I will definitely pray that He will just save me to see my first great grandchild.” I realised that we are motivated, kept alive every day, by that which we are looking forward to. As long as you have something to live for, a reason to stay alive, you can live beyond any prediction or limitation of health or age.


The second thing I realised was the power of social media. While we were sitting at the lunch table, my mother in law sent a text message to my brother in law. He immediately put a comment on facebook referring to his changing status as an uncle. If I say that it was five minutes it would probably be too long, but around that time we received a phone call from Mario’s cousin congratulating us – her source of information: Rick’s facebook page. Needless to say, we did not tell many people about the news ourselves – facebook generally did most of the work for us…






Next: Being sick, without being ill…